Sometimes I think about ‘Death’. It’s the inevitable that we have to encounter in the process of life. A milestone just like our birth, it’s the final step that we take on this Earth. Of course, I too, fear death, yet there have been countless times when I’ve casually spoken of wanting to die in the midst of difficult situations.
My mother, who was my entire world when I was young, now experiences great physical pain, and slowly faces death after turning eighty. It tears my heart apart, with the fear of parting with her swallowing me whole. To alleviate the melancholy that comes with being physically unwell, I say to my mother:
You are the wisest person in our family, and the most patient. Thanks to you, our siblings have grown up well.
I praise her with these compliments. Then, I reminisce about the beautiful memories we shared together.
I am not wishing for my mother to pass away as a perfect person who lived a magnificent life. She was not able to live doing what she desired because she sacrificed everything for her family. Her life was full of regrets, not one of material abundance. However, I hope she can at last release the heavy burdens she had held with both hands, and say her farewell with a heart full of love and cherished memories.
Furthermore, I will not pray to never fear death. Instead, until that day comes, I wish to live without forgetting my gratitude. I hope that my love for life will always outweigh the gravity of any pain I experience.
October is truly beautiful. The cool breeze touches my soul from morning to evening.
It’s a season that makes me introspective.
I reflect on what I must fill my heart with as I live my life.
I too feel that death makes me reflect on my living.